The Ultimate Money Checklist for Couples

Money is the number two cause of stress in relationships, right after infidelity, and one of the leading causes of divorce globally. But it doesn’t have to be a source of conflict.

This guide will walk you through the ultimate money checklist for couples: the conversations you need to have, the actions you can take, and how to build a stronger partnership through money, not despite it.

Part 1: The Conversations Every Couple Should Have

Most people jump straight to the "doing," but in my personal and professional experience, just talking and understanding each other gets you 80% of the way there. Here are the seven key conversations every couple should have.

1. Share Your Financial Stories

Start by talking about how you were raised around money. Were bills discussed openly, or was money a stressful, silent topic in your home? These early experiences shape whether you are naturally a spender or a saver. Sharing your financial backstories helps your partner understand where you're coming from, creating a foundation for open and judgment-free conversations.

2. Discuss Your Money Values for Your Kids

After reflecting on your own stories, it’s a great time to talk about the money values you want to pass on to your children. Do you want them to grow up with a strong sense of saving, or a mindset of abundance and enjoying life responsibly? Remember, kids learn more from what they see than what they're told, so talk about how you want to model those values through your own everyday behaviour.

3. Identify Money Pain Points Early

Every couple has sticking points when it comes to money, whether it's spending habits, budgeting styles, or how much to save. Is splurging on designer sunglasses a waste, or a worthwhile investment in quality? Should you send your child to a public or private school? What starts as an ordinary conversation can get unexpectedly emotional, often tied to deeper feelings like fear, control, or even self-worth. Understanding these triggers can help you approach disagreements with more compassion and patience.

4. Align on Your Money Values and Goals

Once you’ve worked through the emotional side, it’s time to talk about where you’re heading. What does security, freedom, and success mean to each of you? Is it retiring early, paying off the mortgage, or travelling more? When you are aligned on your shared values and long-term goals, it becomes much easier to figure out how to get there. Turn those vague dreams into something real by adding rough timelines and breaking them down into small, actionable steps.

5. Define Money Roles and Respect All Contributions

It’s helpful to talk about who does what. One of you might be better at managing investments, while the other keeps an eye on the bills. But here’s the key: don’t overlook the unpaid, non-financial contributions. Raising kids, cooking, and keeping the household running don't show up on a payslip, but they hold everything together. It's not about who earns more; it's about appreciating the value each of you brings to the table.

6. Set Boundaries Around Helping Others

This one can be tricky, especially in families where helping out is expected. Talk openly about where you both stand on lending money or supporting extended family. It’s so much easier to set a shared policy now, while things are calm, than to scramble in the moment and feel guilt or resentment later.

7. Have the "Worst-Case Scenario" Conversation

It's not the most fun conversation, but it's one of the most important. What would happen if one of you got seriously ill, injured, or even passed away? Planning for the rough days is part of protecting what you are building together.

Part 2: The Actions You Can Take Together

Now that you've built a foundation of mutual understanding, it's time to take action. This part is all about doing the work together.

1. Set Up Your Money System

One of the first practical steps is deciding how you'll manage your day-to-day cash flow. Will you use joint accounts, keep things separate, or go with a mix of both? There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Peace of mind and a sense of security matter just as much as any financial benefit.

2. Track Your Finances as a Team

Even if you have divided up roles, both partners should know the numbers. That means being across your household balance sheet (your assets and debts) and your profit and loss (what's coming in and what's going out). Tracking your finances together builds transparency, strengthens trust, and makes it easier to make confident decisions as a team.

3. Write a Financial Plan for Your Family

You don't need a 50-page, jargon-filled document. Just start. Create a simple, shared document that lists your shared decisions and goals. It could be as short as one page, for example: "We agree to save $2,000 a month into our brokerage account and make a $5,000 personal deductible super contribution each June for each of us." Writing it down creates a sense of clarity and unity. Over time, you can add more detail, covering areas like:

• Your short, medium, and long-term goals.
• Your cash flow and savings plan.
• Your debt management strategy.
• Your investment and superannuation plans.
• Your insurance and estate planning.

4. Learn and Grow Together

Some financial strategies are designed specifically for couples, and learning about them together can make a real difference over the long term. One great example is superannuation contribution splitting, which can do wonders for joint retirement planning. By continuing to learn and grow together, you can build a financial future that is not only secure but also deeply connected to your shared values.